Moving Ahead

This week is one of those weeks you want to fold up into an envelope and read in 7 years when you can laugh about it. Its when you had both the best moments of your life right along side with your lowest points. How does someone so small (Jack) cause both scenarios within a matter of seconds not to mention several times a hour? Those of you who are living this as we speak may feel my pain as well as you veterans who have gone onto other "major problems" your older children are bringing you.

I have said several times in the prior weeks that I knew things would get worse before they got better. But what I failed to realize that I also seem to be juggling returning phone calls, piling laundry (clean, but needs to be folded and put away), sleep, watering plants, ect, ect... on top of changing two sets of diapers, keeping two children happy, showering....ect, ect. I'm also pretty sure Ziki is now on the 2nd back burner when at one point in our lives he was the one we would call and leave messages on our answering machine to tell him we loved him and so he could hear our voice in case he was lonely. Yesterday marked one of the lowest points to date with Jack. I was mortified by his behavior at a play date that I picked up and left within 20 minutes of being there. After I calmed down and Jack calmed down, I realized what an AMAZING support system I have here. My husband is my #1 fan and supporter. My sweet friends here in my neighborhood, and those who I rant an email to and immediately get a phone call to say "Oh honey, it will be okay...it will get better. I have been there." I'm not sure where I would be without any of you. Probably crazy.

As much as I love my babies and as perfect as Breck seems we are not always perfect. Some days are better then others and I'm hoping that myself and Jackson can find a balance. Whether its "terrible twos" or having a new baby in the house or both...I love him. I love that he gets jokes when we tell them. That he laughs at movies. That he kisses his brother often. I even love that the couch squeaks because he may have broken it by jumping on it or that he even ate our postage stamps.

But not all is bad in the O'Hare household this week. They detected a heart murmur on Brecken while we were in the hospital and today we found out it is innocent/normal and we don't ever have to go back to the cardiologist. I teared up while my 19 day old boy was laying on the table, swaddled with his bare chest showing, alert and puckering his lips (my #1 favorite thing he does). I was not scared about the echo they were doing. Its an ultrasound and I obviously got several during both pregnancies and know its a good thing to make sure we have NO holes in his heart. I was not scared about what they would find because in my heart I knew he would be okay. But I will say it was a bit overwhelming with the nursery music they were playing along with the stuffed animals that were lined around the room we were in. One of which we have in our house. We call him teddy bear. (Yes very orginal and I'm sure you can not guess what type of animal it is.) But I couldn't help but imagine being someone else who had been in the exact same room sitting in the exact same chair, but getting different results. Results that could potentially change your child's life and yours. I watched the screen as I have seen an ultrasound screen a thousand times and true to form I could not make anything out. But fortuntley we have all four chambers (I have a picture to prove it) and a perfect heart. Our Doctor was amazing. First of all he looked like my friends husband (which made an instant love for him) and was a true southern boy with manners to match. He was so charming. I instantly fell in love even though he was probably 30 years my age and with 4 boys himself all of which he said were blad until they were 2 so he was naturally impressed with the lovely locks Breck holds. He was so gentle with Breck and he melted my heart. I could tell he truly cared and this is what makes a wonderful doctor. But by the end of our appointment/love affair, he broke up with me. He said he never wanted to see me again unless it was on the street....sigh...

Moving on to the following weeks of our new life I am very thankful for my childrens health, my friends, family and the most amazing husband I can't believe I landed. I hope weeks like this are rare but I would be crazy to think that this is the worst of it. I'm just glad that my friend B introduced me to a new beer to help me through these crazy times!! SWEET WATER BLUE.. I can actually feel my mouth watering just thinking about it, but its only 3pm.

Brecki and Landon sleeping the afternoon away.

 Kisses on the piggy toes!

 Its tubby time!

And...Tummy time!

 I love my  new blanket my Aunt Casi and Grammy Sue got for me!

This picture makes me sad because he is 2 pounds his birth weight (9 lbs). He looks so big!

I am adding some pictures of Jackson when he was about the same age as Brecken!! Do you think they look alike??

Power walk your way to fitness.....

One week has come and gone since baby B was brought into this world. Since then Jack has brought on a few favorite pastimes. His #1 favorite being "Power walking his way to fitness". Kevin has started this while I was in the hospital. He walks like a complete goof, swinging his arms and picking up is knees while shaking his booty and yes power walking around the house. Jackson finds this hilarious and probably more so then I do if that is possible. He has the laugh that is deep in your gut and you can't help but smile and laugh too when you hear it. Its so contagious as most belly laughs are. He follows behind Kevin laughing and trying to do his best "power walk". I secretly hope this continues for a while as I love watching my husband be such a goof and my mimicking son right behind him.

I did my own "power-walk" this past Saturday morning. Baby B woke up around 4:30am. Fed him, changed him, and swaddled him and of course after all that I was wide-eyed and thinking of all the things I was going to do that day. I wasn't going back to sleep. It has been exactly one-week since Baby B, and I thought I should try to get off some of this weight I had LOVED so much putting on. (I miss you Cheetos) I walked out the door a little after 5am. The sun was coming up. I was expecting it to be very humid as we have had over 90 degree weather for the past several days, but it was shockingly cool. I was actually a little chilly. It started out as a light jog and my feet felt like I had an extra 100 pound bricks on them. They were heavy. I was surprised when I made it up the first incline without stopping and made it to the very end (1.25 miles) without stopping too. Of course I lost my stamina on the way home so I power walked. Not like my husband, as he is the master at this. But as I power walked home I thought about what an amazing week I had had. Having Brecken finally here has been so much fun. Kevin and I have been so relaxed, not like we were when we were first time parents. I feel like we get to enjoy the things that were scary and new the first time around. Jack has been great. He asks to hold Breck. He loves to play with his toes, gives him is paci, and pet his head. He hasn't shown any dislike for Breck. He has showed some excessive whining at times accompanied with getting into things he knows he is not supposed to. It is a learning process for all of us. He doesn't like to share his toys so why would he like to share his parents??

Yet, another positive to our week was all the food we received from our friends. Thank you to everyone who has brought us food and who came to love on our new little addition. It means a lot to us that you care enough to do so. I'm going to have to power walk all this goodness off so its a good thing I have such a good teacher...or teachers.

 Brecken and Landon...3 weeks apart

Brecken and Liam!! 9 weeks apart. 

 This is what I do to keep Jack occupied. :)

The new Sit N Stand stroller! Jack loves it.  

Brothers and best friends.  

I love him. 

Mom's say the darnest things.

More times then not, I catch myself saying some pretty ridiculous things. I was talking with my mother on the phone the other day when I called out "Jack, if you are going to jump off the couch, please do so on the other side".  He probably should not be jumping off the couch anyway, but he is a pro gymnast. My mom laughed at me and I laughed too. 

I have realized in my few short years of being a mother that we are not always perfect and as much as we try or at least me, I end up doing things I would have never thought possible. "Jack do you want another spoonful of frosting?" or when Jack was first born and we were in San Diego, short on diapers....yes, I cleaned it out and put it back on. My sister Casi died when I told her this. Frankly, I did  too when I admitted it.

My dreams of raising a child germ-free also has gone down hill. I acknowledged this when I said to Jackson..."Now Jack, this really isn't a floor you can eat stuff off of." But is there really a "good" floor to do so?  They have stories  in PARENTS magazine about what children say thats funny, but they also need to put in a section in there about what parents say that is funny too. I surprise myself what comes out of my mouth or what the battles I end up losing. Superman slippers are always a good "shoe" to wear outside in the mud, and this is only the beginning.

 I like that Jack owns LOTS of pink and purple things.

Jackson likes to "get" us when we sit in the swing.