A Few Firsts...

A few weeks ago we decided that it would be a good idea to get Jackson into some sort of summer camp for the last weeks of summer until his preschool starts up this fall. Since we have our newest family addition it has been much harder for us to do things out of the house so this was a brilliant idea to help keep that mind of his growing and learning and good for me as well. Kevin and I calculated that probably since Jackson has been born he has been in the care of others for a total of 24 hours. We knew this would be a bit of shock for him as it was for me leaving him there because of the sadness I felt in my heart for him. I did not want him to be scared or to think I was not coming back. Day #1 consisted of Jack crying, tearing my clothes off in pure fear that we would leave him, and we did. I sat out in the hall and listened to him to what seemed like hours while I waited to talk to the director of the school and it was torture. I cried as I handed her the check for the session, I cried as I saw my friend Michelle outside, and I cried on the way home. I had hoped that he would soon settle down and enjoy the day ahead of him. When I went to pick him up (they have him in a pick-up line outside) he was sobbing. I heard him the second I got out of the car. It was pitiful. He was so scared and sad and it made me feel like an inch tall for leaving my baby there. But nonetheless, Jackson needs to be away from his mom and learn that it will be okay. Day #2 Kevin dropped him off. He said he cried (but I'm sure he kept it low key so there would not be two of us upset) and when I went to pick him up again, he was again hysterical when I picked him up. Needless to say we have started to pick him up inside the school instead of out and that has helped. They tell me that he is very happy there, and each time I go he is a little less hysterical and he is no longer crying when I pick him up. Thankfully. This could be the beginning of a good thing.

Jackson also went to his first movie ever at the movie theater a few weeks before Brecken arrived. We decided that he might like the movie Rio. We got to the theater at 10AM and he politely handed his ticket to the man in a wheelchair and didn't know what to think of all the lights and the snack bar. Jack loves his snacks. We purchased a popcorn for $16 and I had put two waters in my purse for healthy and cost measures. They have little boosters for the kids and Jack sat in between Kevin and I. They were showing the previews and he was shell shocked I think. He did not even take a bite of popcorn until half-way through the movie. He sat the entire movie, laughed a little and eventually ate the rest of the popcorn.  I kept looking over at Kevin in awe that our baby was able to sit there. It was such a sweet affair for us.

Brecken doesn't have many firsts as of yet...but the one I will highlight today is that he FINALLY after 2 whole months of 1-3 hour increments of sleep, slept 7 straight hours. Now this has not happened again since that lovely night, but I have high hopes it will be back. As in my prior post, Brecken is smiling and its so precious. He makes such great coo noises too. He is getting stronger and actually does like to lay on his tummy. We have his 2 month appointment this Friday and I bet he is 12.5lbs!!

As for me...This is the first time I have ever uttered the words "I wish I had a good pair of mom jeans".

Teeter Totter

We are now at week six of sweet little baby Brecken's life. That only means we are also at week six of being completely unorganized, un-showered and sleep deprived. Team O'Hare has officially reached a teeter totter way of life. There is no balance to be found. At least not yet.

Last Friday-
Brecken decided that it would be a good day to practice doing an "all-dayer". He succeeded. 6AM came and he did not see much slumber until 11:30PM that evening. During this time however he was not fussy. He just wanted to be held, played with, clean and content for those 17.5 hours. But not to worry I still got to practice my patience with Jack. After a long nights rest (yeah right) I wake up to fighting with Jack to eat his eggs that I worked so hard to do with Breck in my arms. Then my day really starts....Jack wants to go outside...okay shoes on and he is out the door. Two maybe three minutes later he is back at the door with his face covered in ash from the fire pit and clothes blackened. I had thought until a few days later when he did it again that he had just fallen face first. He looked that bad. But I had stripped down outside and rushed him upstairs to give him a shower. Not long after this he spilled a glass of lemonade on the floor, I'm sure to check if there was any left in the cup...this of course was after he had already spilled it on our coffee table (which I did decide to turn my head and choose this battle NOT to fight) and was splashing around in it laughing like he was so pleased with himself for doing such a fine deed. Then there was a diaper change that was done on the couch which I thought was just a pee diaper but once I had it half-way off I soon realized it was good old #2....I reached for the wipes and viola..Jack jumped up, poo all over the sofa. Later that day after changing another one of Jack's wonderful diapers, I tossed it down our stairs so it would  eventually make it to the dumpster and much to my dismay it exploded when it hit the bottom of the staircase and 10's of 1000's little crystals came pouring out onto my nicely just mopped floor. This would also be the day Jack has decided to take it in his own hands to be tidy. Ritz wrapper, diapers, pencils...you name it, he puts them into what he "thinks" is a garbage but actually resembles alot like a toilet.  At 3PM I have not eaten lunch..I am starving. My kickoff to a 30-day challenge of weight loss with a few of my girlfriends seems to diminish as I reach for a cold hot dog and not one, not two but three beers. I put baby Brecken in a swing that no longer works and I call a friend, cry, and push rock my baby for 60 minutes to have some down time...if that is what you want to call down time. So the things I need to do just keep getting pushed further and further down the list. Like getting that birthday present I need for tomorrow afternoon's party or going grocery shopping because my in-laws are on their way to our house as we speak. The house not to mention has to be cleaned and I have piled probably 6 loads of laundry on my bed to be folded and put away. I have actual "work" to do and I feel like I will get fired any day if I don't start doing more and exercise...forget it. Ziki is meowing at me to be fed to what seems like every 5 minutes and I realize if I don't brush my teeth the minute I hop out of bed in the morning it may not get done until I see the bed again that evening.

I realize I am not the only one living like I'm on a roller coaster with no seat belt or there would not be 13,000 books out there to help you cope with your toddler, baby and motherhood. I realize that once I reach some sort of balance even for a few days, I will have a whole new set of obstacles ahead of me. But there is something about watching my babies grow into independent, bossy, short tempered, funny little men that I just can't grasp. Is it pride, love or both? Not long ago both my boys were blueberries in my belly at pregnancy week 7. Now Brecken smiles and coo's (much earlier than Jack ever did) and it melts my heart. Getting Brecken kisses are the best because he always smiles afterwards, which in between my diaper dilemmas and Jackson "sneaking to eat" Ziki's food I cherish. I do look forward to the day where I don't have to say "Kevin who???" and can stay up past 9:30 to watch grown-up TV. I know I will miss this...someday. But will I ever "really" miss cleaning poop up off the sofa???

Jackson at Grayson and Kaden's birthday party!! I think he just spilled some juice on him. Oops!

 hahahahahaha!!!! Silly.

 Is Jack pulling Breck's hair....Oh my!

 Hello handsome!

 I love this picture for so many reasons!

 4th of July Parade in our neighborhood!! Jack and his best buddy Caleb!! Looks like Jack takes after his mother with crooked sunglasses.

 The parade!!! We were of course last in line.

 Caught red-handed at the computers!

 Brecken sure misses his Grandma...

 My baby is tired!

Jack was a power-ranger at a birthday party this past weekend. He loved it so much!

Sweet Summertime

When I was growing up summertime was looked forward to all year by everyone I knew...maybe except for my mother who now had a million children at her house. But it was so exciting to me possibly because it was the only time I could wear a t-shirt outside without getting cold or that school was out for almost 12 weeks. It doesn't matter how old you get your sense of smell can take you back to many memories. When I go home to Montana in the summer the smells take me back to that little girl who used to sit on her fathers lap and watch Gun Smoke or that wild teenager my mother could not cage. Just getting off the airplane there is a huge difference with the air you are breathing. It is so fresh and cool. Even on days where it gets up to 90 degrees the evening and mornings are still so cool and crisp, which is not a luxury here in the south. The smell of fresh cut grass (my favorite still today) and the smell of dirt (I can still see my fingernails being so dirty from a hard days play) still make me giddy. I remember when would  drive around town with the windows rolled down (something I am unable to do now) and when we used to sleep outside in my front yard we would wake up to morning dew on our faces. Or the many times that we would go our cabin in the mountains (which did not have indoor plumbing and our outhouse was pink). I miss these things in my adult life.

Now summer brings on a whole new sense where I live now.  Its hot, and 12 weeks off of school doesn't bring on the same excitement. Its so hot, that the first year that I lived here I couldn't go out to my car to fetch something without being drenched in sweat. From the time I got into my car, drove to work (I even had air conditioning) walked into the door at work, my arm pits were drenched and my hair slicked back. You would have thought I only bought deodorant and not antiperspirant. I needed to pack an extra shirt just for the 5 minute drive. My body has regulated since then so this is no longer a problem (thankfully).  Summertime here also brings BUGS. Big bugs, little bugs, smelly bugs, biting bugs, I can't believe what I just saw bugs.  It will be a heaven for my sons, but I personally do not like it. I do however enjoy the lighting bugs.  But I love summertime. Mainly because ahem my birthday, wedding anniversary is in the summer months and there is nothing better then a ice cold beer in a can that has been in a cooler all day. I love sitting outside listening to the crickets or yes katydids (we found one on our porch the other day) and watching the hummingbirds, and nothing brings a bigger smile to my face then seeing my big boy play so hard that he is soaked with sweat...however the humidity may also play a part in this. I just wonder how many fires my husband will have this summer in our red neck fire pit because of course we didn't have ANY this winter when it was appropriate.

I can't help but wonder what my own children will remember or what smells of each season will bring back which memories. I wonder if it will make them as happy as it makes me to come across a smell that brings back that sense of being a child or just a happy time in your life and if what I do on a daily basis help make it possible.

Behold...the redneck fire pit built by Kevin.

 Jack's curls have made a comeback! Yay!!

 Pool time!

My shirt actually says something underneath all that dirt. Love this so much!! 

 Jack just loves to play in the dirt. Not only do we have to wash his hands when he comes inside..we have to wash his feet. He also likes to bring piles of dirt to drop off on the porch, in the middle of the lawn and the toy box. Thanks Jack!

Soon baby Brecki will be joining in the outside fun with his big brother!